Developed by neuroscientist Stephen Porges, polyvagal theory offers a powerful lens for understanding why we react the way we do under stress, and how we can gently guide ourselves back to safety and connection.
Rather than viewing the nervous system as a simple on/off switch between “fight-or-flight” and “rest-and-digest,” Polyvagal Theory describes a more nuanced hierarchy of states.
These states shape how we feel, think, behave, and relate, often outside of conscious awareness.
The key insight?
Your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety.
And most of your daily experiences, from work stress to relationship tension to scrolling the news, are interpreted through this lens.
The three everyday nervous system states
Polyvagal Theory describes three primary states governed largely by the vagus nerve:
1. Ventral Vagal State — Safety & Connection
This is your regulated, grounded state. When ventral vagal pathways are active:
- Your breath is steady
- Muscles are relaxed but responsive
- Heart rate is regulated
- You feel open, socially engaged, and emotionally flexible
In everyday life, this might look like:
- Enjoying conversation
- Feeling present during a walk
- Being able to handle a challenge without spiralling
This state supports learning, creativity, digestion, healing, and healthy connection.
2. Sympathetic State — Mobilisation
This is the classic “fight-or-flight” response.
When sympathetic activation dominates:
- Heart rate increases
- Breath becomes shallow
- Muscles tense
- Thoughts speed up
In daily life, this might show up as:
- Snapping at your partner
- Overworking and feeling wired
- Doom-scrolling late at night
- Anxiety before a meeting
Sympathetic activation isn’t “bad”. It gives us energy and drive. The problem arises when we can’t return to regulation.
3. Dorsal Vagal State — Shutdown
This is the immobilisation response. When dorsal pathways dominate:
- Energy drops
- Motivation disappears
- You may feel numb or disconnected
- Brain fog increases
In everyday life:
- You cancel plans without explanation
- You feel exhausted by 8am
- You “zone out” during conflict
- You avoid tasks because they feel overwhelming
Again, this state is protective. It evolved to conserve energy during threat. But when chronic, it can feel like depression, apathy, or collapse.
Why this matters in real life
Polyvagal Theory offers a practical framework for understanding many everyday experiences that are often misinterpreted as personal flaws.
When you feel suddenly reactive or overwhelmed, it is not necessarily an “overreaction”. It may be your nervous system shifting into mobilisation in response to perceived threat.
When you struggle with fatigue, low motivation, or mental fog, this is not simply laziness. It may reflect a shutdown response, which is a protective conservation of energy when the system feels overloaded.
And when you are described as “too sensitive”, it may be that your nervous system is finely attuned to cues of safety and threat in your environment.
The nervous system is constantly scanning for information. It responds to tone of voice, facial expression, posture, pace of movement, breath patterns, and subtle environmental cues such as light, sound, and social atmosphere.
Importantly, much of this process occurs outside conscious awareness.
This is why logical reasoning alone rarely resolves stress. Regulation is not purely cognitive; it is physiological. The body must experience cues of safety before it can settle.
Everyday regulation practices
One of the strengths of Polyvagal Theory is its practical application. Small shifts can support movement toward regulation in daily life, and breath is a direct pathway.
For example, slightly lengthening the exhale by inhaling for four counts and exhaling for six, gently stimulates the vagus nerve and signals safety to the system.
Slow, rhythmic movement is also effective. Walking at an easy pace, subtle rocking, or gentle spinal movement can help discharge excess sympathetic activation or gradually lift states of shutdown.
Orienting is another simple but powerful tool. Taking a moment to visually scan your environment, noticing colours, light, shapes, and distance. This reassures the nervous system that there is no immediate danger. This is an instinctive regulatory reflex that can be consciously engaged.
Social connection also plays a central role. A warm tone of voice, soft eye contact, or safe touch activates ventral vagal pathways associated with connection and calm. This co-regulation is not a luxury; it is a biological mechanism for restoring balance.
Meanwhile, grounding through the feet can further stabilise the system. Bringing awareness to the contact between your feet and the floor, and allowing small shifts of weight, can anchor attention and support physiological settling.
These practices are simple, yet their cumulative effect can be significant.
Moving between states is normal
A key principle of Polyvagal Theory is that movement between nervous system states is natural. Activation, connection, and shutdown are all part of the human survival repertoire.
Resilience is not the ability to remain calm at all times. It is the capacity to move through different states and return to regulation with increasing ease.
In practical terms, this involves noticing your current state, meeting it without judgment, and offering cues of safety that support rebalancing.
Over time, these repeated experiences strengthen the nervous system’s flexibility and capacity for recovery, and deepen nervous system literacy.
From awareness to Embodiment
Polyvagal Theory bridges neuroscience and lived experience. It reframes behaviour as biology rather than personal deficiency.
Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” the question becomes, “What state is my nervous system in, and what does it need?”
This shift replaces shame with informed curiosity. It encourages listening to bodily signals rather than overriding them.
As understanding deepens, regulation becomes less about control and more about collaboration with the body. Through conscious breath, movement, orientation, and connection, individuals can gradually restore coherence and stability in everyday moments.
Sustainable transformation begins not with force, but with informed awareness and consistent, embodied practice.
Want to get started? Download the Somatic Starter Pack complete with tips for polyvagal toning, here.
